k-ID Talks! Episode 9: Nichlas Hellmark on one Gamer’s Mission to Protect Kids online

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1. What motivated you to shift from professional gaming to protecting children online?
   
   

I’ve been a gamer my whole life, and for a while, it became my career. Leading top-ranked World of Warcraft teams was everything to me. But after months of playing professionally, I had this moment where I stopped and thought, "What else do I have going on in my life?" I needed something beyond gaming, so I reached out to Save the Children for an internship—just something to fill my time from nine to five.

That internship led to a finance role, but the more I worked there, the more I saw a gap. Gaming had given me so much—community, leadership, even a career—but I started questioning what kind of environment we were leaving behind for young players. Was it a space where kids felt supported, or were we ignoring real risks? That’s what set me on the path to working in child protection.

‍

2. Was there a pivotal moment that shaped your approach to child safety in gaming?

One experience changed everything for me. A teammate I played with every day started withdrawing, getting frustrated, pushing people away. We all saw it, but we didn’t know what to do. Then, one day, he stopped showing up. A few weeks later, his dad logged into his account to tell us he had taken his own life.

At his funeral, I realized his family had no idea he had been struggling. Meanwhile, we—his online friends, had seen the signs so clearly. That moment stuck with me. Why didn’t we act? Why weren’t there systems in place to help?

That’s when I understood that keeping kids safe online isn’t just about filtering content or limiting screen time. It’s about recognizing that online spaces are real spaces, and the connections kids form there matter. That’s why I’ve spent years working to build systems that detect distress early and connect children to real-world support before it’s too late.

‍

3. What are the biggest online risks for children today, and what do parents often overlook?

The biggest risks for children online aren’t always the ones parents focus on. When I talk to parents, their main concerns are usually screen time and inappropriate content: violent games, explicit media, things like that. But when we ask kids what actually affects them the most, they tell a very different story.

For most young players, the biggest issue isn’t what they’re watching or how many hours they spend online, it’s how they’re treated in those spaces. The number one concern kids bring up is toxic behavior from other players. Harassment, bullying, exclusion, it happens constantly, and it can have a huge emotional impact.

We ran a program in schools in Sweden and Finland where we asked children what they struggle with online, then asked their parents what they worry about. The answers almost never matched. Parents talked about limiting time spent on TikTok or stopping kids from playing certain games. Kids, on the other hand, wanted help dealing with aggressive behavior, threats, and toxic communities. They also said they rarely turn to their parents for help when something bad happens, because they’re afraid of being punished or having their access taken away.

This disconnect is one of the biggest challenges in online safety. If parents only focus on time limits and content restrictions, they miss the real dangers their children face—isolation, manipulation, and harmful interactions. The best thing a parent can do is create an open environment where their child feels comfortable talking about what happens online. 

‍

4. How can parents recognize when their child is struggling online, and what should they do?

Recognizing when a child is struggling online can be tough since the signs often mimic typical teenage behavior—withdrawal, mood swings, frustration. But some changes should raise red flags.

A major indicator is a sudden shift in online engagement. If a child has been active in a gaming group or community and abruptly stops, it could signal harassment, exclusion, or exposure to something harmful. Another red flag is a change in emotions around online spaces. If they once enjoyed a platform but now avoid it, get irritable when it’s mentioned, or seem on edge while playing, something may be wrong. Increased anger or frustration, especially after being online, is also a concern.

Most kids won’t tell parents when something bad happens online—often fearing punishment or losing access. That’s why building trust before a crisis happens is key. Instead of reacting by immediately taking away a device, parents should create space for open conversations.

A good way to start is by asking neutral, non-judgmental questions like:

• Who did you play with today?
• What’s the best thing that happened in the game?
• What’s something frustrating that happened?

If a child is struggling, the most important thing a parent can do is listen without overreacting. If they feel heard rather than judged, they’ll be more likely to ask for help when they truly need it.

5. What excites you most about working with k-ID?

One of the biggest challenges in online safety is turning awareness into action. There’s been a lot of discussion about making the internet safer for kids, but very few practical tools exist for developers to implement real protections. What excites me about working with k-ID is their focus on solutions—giving companies the tools they need to build safer, privacy-preserving, age-appropriate experiences. I also love the idea of making complex safety concepts more accessible for parents and policymakers. The work we do often gets buried in long reports that few people have time to read. Collaborating with k-ID means we can turn those insights into clear, actionable guidance that actually makes a difference.

‍

6. What upcoming initiatives excite you the most, and how will they improve online safety?

‍

One of the most promising initiatives we’re working on is an AI-driven support system that can detect signs of distress in children based on their online behavior. If a child starts showing patterns linked to emotional struggles, like withdrawing from friends or expressing frustration in chats, the system can offer support early, before things escalate.

Another focus is helping game developers create healthier environments by improving moderation tools, designing better reporting systems, and finding ways to reduce toxic interactions in online communities.

These initiatives aren’t about restricting kids—they’re about making sure they have safer spaces to connect, play, and seek help when they need it.

‍

7. If you could solve one major challenge in online child protection today, what would it be?

The biggest challenge in online child protection is finding a way to keep kids safe without compromising their privacy. Everyone agrees that children should be protected, but many current solutions go too far in the wrong direction—breaking encryption, requiring invasive age verification, or collecting excessive personal data.

Right now, platforms are stuck between protecting children and respecting digital rights. If they introduce strict monitoring, they risk violating privacy. If they do nothing, they leave kids exposed to harm. We need a better way.

One of the biggest gaps is early detection. If we could identify patterns of harm—like grooming, exploitation, or distress—without reading private messages or storing unnecessary data, we could intervene sooner. But trust is also a factor. Even if a company develops a great safety system, society won’t accept it unless there’s transparency and independent oversight.

If I could solve one issue, it would be developing protection systems that don’t rely on invasive surveillance. Kids should be able to explore the internet safely, without feeling like they’re being watched at every step.

8. If you had one message to parents raising kids in today’s digital age, what would it be?

Spend time with your kids online while they still want you there.

Many parents focus on controlling screen time, but the real goal should be understanding what your child is doing online and who they’re interacting with. The more engaged you are in their digital world now, the more likely they’ll turn to you when they need help.

9. What is a myth about online safety that you’d like to bust?

That removing children from the digital world is the best way to keep them safe.

Some parents think banning social media or restricting gaming will protect their kids, but the internet isn’t going away. Instead of trying to shield children from it, we should be focusing on teaching them how to navigate it safely—building critical thinking skills, recognizing risks, and knowing when to ask for help.

‍

10. If you could sum up your vision for the future of online safety in just three words, what would they be?

Safe digital childhood.
The goal isn’t just to reduce harm but to create online spaces where kids can connect, learn, and grow safely, just like they do in the physical world.

‍

1. What motivated you to shift from professional gaming to protecting children online?
   
   

I’ve been a gamer my whole life, and for a while, it became my career. Leading top-ranked World of Warcraft teams was everything to me. But after months of playing professionally, I had this moment where I stopped and thought, "What else do I have going on in my life?" I needed something beyond gaming, so I reached out to Save the Children for an internship—just something to fill my time from nine to five.

That internship led to a finance role, but the more I worked there, the more I saw a gap. Gaming had given me so much—community, leadership, even a career—but I started questioning what kind of environment we were leaving behind for young players. Was it a space where kids felt supported, or were we ignoring real risks? That’s what set me on the path to working in child protection.

‍

2. Was there a pivotal moment that shaped your approach to child safety in gaming?

One experience changed everything for me. A teammate I played with every day started withdrawing, getting frustrated, pushing people away. We all saw it, but we didn’t know what to do. Then, one day, he stopped showing up. A few weeks later, his dad logged into his account to tell us he had taken his own life.

At his funeral, I realized his family had no idea he had been struggling. Meanwhile, we—his online friends, had seen the signs so clearly. That moment stuck with me. Why didn’t we act? Why weren’t there systems in place to help?

That’s when I understood that keeping kids safe online isn’t just about filtering content or limiting screen time. It’s about recognizing that online spaces are real spaces, and the connections kids form there matter. That’s why I’ve spent years working to build systems that detect distress early and connect children to real-world support before it’s too late.

‍

3. What are the biggest online risks for children today, and what do parents often overlook?

The biggest risks for children online aren’t always the ones parents focus on. When I talk to parents, their main concerns are usually screen time and inappropriate content: violent games, explicit media, things like that. But when we ask kids what actually affects them the most, they tell a very different story.

For most young players, the biggest issue isn’t what they’re watching or how many hours they spend online, it’s how they’re treated in those spaces. The number one concern kids bring up is toxic behavior from other players. Harassment, bullying, exclusion, it happens constantly, and it can have a huge emotional impact.

We ran a program in schools in Sweden and Finland where we asked children what they struggle with online, then asked their parents what they worry about. The answers almost never matched. Parents talked about limiting time spent on TikTok or stopping kids from playing certain games. Kids, on the other hand, wanted help dealing with aggressive behavior, threats, and toxic communities. They also said they rarely turn to their parents for help when something bad happens, because they’re afraid of being punished or having their access taken away.

This disconnect is one of the biggest challenges in online safety. If parents only focus on time limits and content restrictions, they miss the real dangers their children face—isolation, manipulation, and harmful interactions. The best thing a parent can do is create an open environment where their child feels comfortable talking about what happens online. 

‍

4. How can parents recognize when their child is struggling online, and what should they do?

Recognizing when a child is struggling online can be tough since the signs often mimic typical teenage behavior—withdrawal, mood swings, frustration. But some changes should raise red flags.

A major indicator is a sudden shift in online engagement. If a child has been active in a gaming group or community and abruptly stops, it could signal harassment, exclusion, or exposure to something harmful. Another red flag is a change in emotions around online spaces. If they once enjoyed a platform but now avoid it, get irritable when it’s mentioned, or seem on edge while playing, something may be wrong. Increased anger or frustration, especially after being online, is also a concern.

Most kids won’t tell parents when something bad happens online—often fearing punishment or losing access. That’s why building trust before a crisis happens is key. Instead of reacting by immediately taking away a device, parents should create space for open conversations.

A good way to start is by asking neutral, non-judgmental questions like:

• Who did you play with today?
• What’s the best thing that happened in the game?
• What’s something frustrating that happened?

If a child is struggling, the most important thing a parent can do is listen without overreacting. If they feel heard rather than judged, they’ll be more likely to ask for help when they truly need it.

5. What excites you most about working with k-ID?

One of the biggest challenges in online safety is turning awareness into action. There’s been a lot of discussion about making the internet safer for kids, but very few practical tools exist for developers to implement real protections. What excites me about working with k-ID is their focus on solutions—giving companies the tools they need to build safer, privacy-preserving, age-appropriate experiences. I also love the idea of making complex safety concepts more accessible for parents and policymakers. The work we do often gets buried in long reports that few people have time to read. Collaborating with k-ID means we can turn those insights into clear, actionable guidance that actually makes a difference.

‍

6. What upcoming initiatives excite you the most, and how will they improve online safety?

‍

One of the most promising initiatives we’re working on is an AI-driven support system that can detect signs of distress in children based on their online behavior. If a child starts showing patterns linked to emotional struggles, like withdrawing from friends or expressing frustration in chats, the system can offer support early, before things escalate.

Another focus is helping game developers create healthier environments by improving moderation tools, designing better reporting systems, and finding ways to reduce toxic interactions in online communities.

These initiatives aren’t about restricting kids—they’re about making sure they have safer spaces to connect, play, and seek help when they need it.

‍

7. If you could solve one major challenge in online child protection today, what would it be?

The biggest challenge in online child protection is finding a way to keep kids safe without compromising their privacy. Everyone agrees that children should be protected, but many current solutions go too far in the wrong direction—breaking encryption, requiring invasive age verification, or collecting excessive personal data.

Right now, platforms are stuck between protecting children and respecting digital rights. If they introduce strict monitoring, they risk violating privacy. If they do nothing, they leave kids exposed to harm. We need a better way.

One of the biggest gaps is early detection. If we could identify patterns of harm—like grooming, exploitation, or distress—without reading private messages or storing unnecessary data, we could intervene sooner. But trust is also a factor. Even if a company develops a great safety system, society won’t accept it unless there’s transparency and independent oversight.

If I could solve one issue, it would be developing protection systems that don’t rely on invasive surveillance. Kids should be able to explore the internet safely, without feeling like they’re being watched at every step.

8. If you had one message to parents raising kids in today’s digital age, what would it be?

Spend time with your kids online while they still want you there.

Many parents focus on controlling screen time, but the real goal should be understanding what your child is doing online and who they’re interacting with. The more engaged you are in their digital world now, the more likely they’ll turn to you when they need help.

9. What is a myth about online safety that you’d like to bust?

That removing children from the digital world is the best way to keep them safe.

Some parents think banning social media or restricting gaming will protect their kids, but the internet isn’t going away. Instead of trying to shield children from it, we should be focusing on teaching them how to navigate it safely—building critical thinking skills, recognizing risks, and knowing when to ask for help.

‍

10. If you could sum up your vision for the future of online safety in just three words, what would they be?

Safe digital childhood.
The goal isn’t just to reduce harm but to create online spaces where kids can connect, learn, and grow safely, just like they do in the physical world.